Somewhere To Write

Posted by honestman on 2015/05/26 under Uncategorized

i decided to write here, because i need to deal with some issues in my mind. Those issues are conected to people. it’s been years i was going down with my thoughts and trying to solve out what the f*** is going wrong.. i was trying and failing, i was waiting and waiting and my ability to be “normal” seems to be weeker every day. So I got here..all mistakes lead me to an idea where the problem is. maybe. another shot this is. I cannot be honest with the people. Of course, the one who am i lying most (or the only one who should give a f*** about my lies – now i know why – is me). I feel uncomfortabe speak with anyone and getting nervous.. I am uncapable to argue. I have my head full of things i want to say.. and what i do? Im speaking to my self.. for years.. most of the things i say only to my self. Strange thing this brain. It made great mess in my head. Im loosing my self. I can hardly remember new things. I cant organise thoughts in my head..cannot focuse. its been so long that i started to thing about the suicide. Not that i would really kill my self, im really scared of that, just thinking. from time to time. I dont really know, why am i doing this. Why fear? Or fear of what?
Im here becouse i want to open my mind. Or at least try. So im sorry, to everyone who read this. and thanks also.i need feedback. i probably shoud give this to read to my close people. But i take that as next level. You can see im not even english speaking person. im just trying.

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